PVUSD: Elect Clowns, Expect a Circus

Jesus, CRT and Taxes at the Paradise Valley Unified School Board Meeting

I know I’ve been focused on the Peoria Unified School District (PUSD) meetings lately, and that’s because the repeated violations of the Establishment Clause by sitting board members  warrants the attention of Secular AZ. 

But!  Whether scripture is explicitly being read at meetings by board members or not, there are a lot of Christofascists who are elected or who are showing up at school board meetings all over Arizona.

Our local school boards are the heart of our democracy, and I’ve started tracking what’s happening at these meetings as much as I am able. I submit myself to this torture so that Secular AZ members and the public know what is going on in their own backyards… and so Arizonans can make informed decisions in the 2024 election and vote for candidates who support our secular schools and government. 

So without any further adieu, let’s make like MC Hammer and break it down!

I actually started listening to public comments for the Paradise Valley Unified School District (PVUSD) on my way to the PUSD meeting (because, apparently, I hate myself), and it didn’t take long for my blood to start boiling. 

The meeting started with board comments (which are usually about what individual members did in the time since their last meeting) and everyone did that at this meeting, so that was a nice change from what usually happens at PUSD. 

These PVUSD board members actually praised teachers and staff, and gave updates about what they did. It was nice, and I actually found myself smiling.

But that smile quickly faded as I heard a nasally, condescending, grating voice that I recognized from somewhere else. To my dismay, I realized Rep. Matt Gress (R-LD4) was speaking at the lectern. You know, the Matt Gress who put forward countless “wolf in sheep’s clothing” bills that he said were meant to protect pregnant people, but were really thinly veiled attempts to establish fetal personhood? Yeah, that guy. 

(But don’t worry, y’all, Governor Hobbs vetoed them all.)

He yammered on for a while about how education funding in Arizona is peachy keen (reality check: AZ hovers between 48th and 49th in the U.S. on funding/spending per capita on K-12 education, which is… not great)  and it’s all sunshine and roses at the Capitol. 

Honestly, his voice gives me a headache, so I needed to step away for a moment to get a small glass of wine.

He lauded the recently passed budget and *actually* said that the budget “gives back, it spends smart, and it addresses real issues by putting Arizona families first, protecting the vulnerable, and growing opportunity and freedom.” He said that Arizona has made historic investments in K-12 and higher education over the last eight years (remember, Gress was former Governor Ducey’s budget director).

 I really want to know how he can say all this with a straight face, when Arizona is constantly in the bottom three for countless measures in public education. 

He actually said that Arizona is funding its schools at the “highest level ever,” and oh great, now I have red wine all over my laptop and monitor since I couldn’t help but spit it out when he said all that. I don’t need anymore mishaps like this, so I had to fast forward through all of his 🐂💩. 

Next up were a BUNCH of MAGA moms, dads, and grandmas who were all reading from the same script. Rather than provide individual updates, I’ll give you all the Reader’s Digest version of their talking points: 

• We pay too much in taxes, so stahp, mkay?

• These test scores are horrible and don’t deserve funding!

• Our schools are racist (meaning CRT of course, which isn’t taught in schools)!

• qUiT sExUaLiZiNg MaH kIdS!

• Sandra Christiensen (the recently elected MAGA school board member) shits sunshine!

• Stop teaching our kids to perform oral sex (someone actually said this)!

• We need more Jesus in the classroom!

• Get pornography out of our schools! 

• NO NEW TAXES! NO BONDS! NO OVERRIDES! 

• We need more Jesus in the classroom!

• Stop having compassion for LGBTQ kids, gah!

• God doesn’t judge anyone! (OK, but like why do all of his followers think it’s OK?)

• Our founding fathers were Christians!

• One lady almost said she wanted “separate but equal” education, but she caught herself. Close one!

• Mrs. Christensen is such an amazing critical thinker! 

• CoNfLiCt Of InTeReSt!!

• Unions are bad! And greedy!

• [Something really confusing about a parking lot?]

• I LIVE IN A GATED COMMUNITY! 

• I’ve lived here a long time! And when are you going to start teaching English!?

• Tom Horne AND Sandra Christensen shit sunshine! 

• Something, something, election fraud…

• qUiT sExUaLiZiNg MaH kIdS!

• We’re destroying America!

• Finances, enrollment, public educators are GREEDY, “Congressman Gress” something, something (yikes, lady, hold your horses, I’m triggered). 

• SEL is dumb and it shouldn’t be funded!

• The USA is the BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!

• Equity is dumb and it has no place in our schools!

• No sex talk EVER!

There’s a lot happening in these comments, but let’s dispel a few myths: 

1. CRT isn’t taught in schools;

2. Comprehensive Sex Ed (CSE) keeps kids safer and healthier;

3. Unions provide a net positive benefit to society;

4. Equity is a good thing; and 

5. No one is teaching your kid how to give blowjobs. 

OK. Onto the pulled consent agenda items. For those of you who aren’t well-versed in school board lingo, consent agenda items are generally routine items that members can discuss with their superintendent before the meeting. 

Board members and members of the public can pull these items if they have questions. Some consent agenda items were pulled that had to do with mental health (which apparently to many of the folks at the PVUSD meeting is like, a bad thing. Mental healthcare…a bad thing?)

To be honest, the comments about this first pulled agenda item are so dumb, I can’t even keep up, nor do I want to report on it. Otherwise, MY mental health will be compromised. 

Basically, it went something like this: 

The overarching message was that they do NOT want children to receive any mental healthcare and that this is probably being presented to them as some pizzagate adrenochrome sex trafficking scheme to indoctrinate their kids. PVUSD IS STEALING CHILDREN FOR THEIR ADRENOCHROME TO GIVE LIFE TO THEIR LIZARDSELVES. (It’s not.)

Essentially, there were a few very routine consent agenda items about mental healthcare service organizations and the supports they provide. These types of contracts are normal because schools are often the first place where a child who needs special supports is identified by the caring adults in classrooms and on campuses. 

Thank goodness for educators who run for and sit on their school boards. Kerry Baker is one of those board members. She pointed out that this is all very normal and tried to explain Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs (during her comments, the audience kept interrupting her - BOARD PRESIDENTS, DO BETTER!), how not every kid in the district has the Cleavers as parents, and that with every potential referral to these mental healthcare providers, the parents have to sign off. 

But of course, the evangelical extremist can only parrot what Charlie Kirk tells them to say, so her wise and correct words fell on deaf ears. 

Next up, MAGA mom board member Sandra Christensen doubled down on her lack of understanding by saying that “districts are outsourcing the raising of our children [it’s not],” that “parents and teachers need to partner together…but the district can’t solve every problem of the child…and…sometimes life is tough…schools cannot solve every problem…schools are here to educate our children…”

She also essentially said that the parents in her district are not smart enough to understand what their rights are, or how to partner with their educators to get their children the services they need. 

Other members and staff explained over and over again that this partnership has all stakeholders involved. No child can even receive services without parental consent, but because the MAGA deplorables don’t tend to think deeply about these issues, it fell on deaf ears. 

Board Member Christensen continued to sow distrust and beat the drum of pArEnTaL rIgHts, and voted against what should have been a very routine and unanimous approval of services for marginalized students and families. Of course, other parents spoke out against the students and families of PVUSD getting mental healthcare services, again putting on full display their willful ignorance of what these agenda items mean. 

Like, this stuff is DUMB, y’all. Not just dumb, but downright cruel. Because these people do not understand EVEN AFTER NUMEROUS EXPLANATIONS FROM SOOOO MANY PROFESSIONALS what these items mean, they’re going to speak out and/or vote against giving our most vulnerable families the services they need. 

Not only that, but they’re going to run in 2024 to get on a school board near you. And if you don’t find that terrifying, I don’t know what else to tell you to convince you that we’re all in danger. 

After this, Board Member Christensen complained about educating the whole child. And at that point…

All I could think was how can someone on a school board say such callous things about the children and families in her district? 

When I was on my local school board, we had “the whole child” written into our mission, vision, and strategic plan, because the education of the whole child is how teachers teach. We don’t put our kids into boxes. The math teacher doesn’t just teach the part of the kid that is learning math, they teach the part of the kid that didn’t have breakfast that morning, the part of the kid whose parents are getting a divorce, the part of the kid who is being bullied at school every day, and the part of the kid who struggles to focus because of their mental health. 

Another vote to partner with mental healthcare providers was voted against by Board Member Christensen. 

Well, when we got to the next pulled consent agenda item, it became crystal clear that this board member votes the way she does because she doesn’t take the time to understand the items on which she is voting. Board Member Christensen admitted that she didn’t know what Head Start programs were. Head Start pre-K programs are federally-funded early childhood programs for families living in poverty, and when children in poverty have access to pre-K educations, it positively affects their outcomes for their entire lives. 

The fact that a sitting board member in Arizona does not know what something as basic as Head Start is, should have everyone who is reading this feeling alarmed. Like, five-alarm fire alarmed, y’all. 

Finally, there was a presentation about “truth in taxation,” and once again, Board Member Christensen shows that she will not stay in her lane. Good board members work collaboratively with administrators and staff, and then let the staff and admin roll up their sleeves to implement the policies the board votes on. 

Too many of these newly elected MAGA board members seem to believe they were elected to be their district’s superintendent, and their behavior is having a chilling effect across the state and across the country.

This year, 24 superintendents have retired, resigned, or been fired by their boards. There isn’t just a teacher retention crisis in Arizona, there is a school administrator retention crisis. 

But this is their goal: to dismantle our public schools from within. Whether it’s bringing lawsuits to the district, voting against curriculum, harassing anyone who doesn’t agree with them on social media, or advocating for bigoted and discriminatory policies, the longer these board members sit on their boards, the more havoc they can wreak. 

So once again, we’re asking for you to stand up and speak. Email your local governing board, go to one of their meetings, or speak when your voice is needed. Heck, consider running for your school board or find a candidate who is, and support them with whatever time, talent, or treasure you have.

And if you’re enjoying these updates, please, support the work we do at Secular AZ.

If you’d like to provide updates about your local school board, city council, or board of supervisors meetings, please let us know! We’d be happy to stack your account of what happens and boost what’s going on in your neck of the woods.