How Do You Spell Dysfunction?

D.V.U.S.D. b.o.a.r.d. m.e.e.t.i.n.g.

Holy moly, who whoulda thunk it, but here I am working on another Substack. I wasn’t really planning on shifting things on my to-do list, but the last meeting of 2023 in Deer Valley Unified School District (DVUSD) was, quite possibly, the worst example of board governance I’ve ever seen. 

I know what you’re thinking, “Secular Activist Lady™, you say that all the time.” But I’m here to tell you: 

The December 12, 2023 DVUSD meeting was, quite possibly the worst example of boardsmanship and local governance I’ve ever seen. 

So buckle up, Secular Fam, because it’s about to get stupid up in here. 

So on the evening of the meeting, I was hanging out with family for a celebration, and when I said that I’d like to get home early, they asked why, and I told them I needed to watch a school board meeting. As you can imagine, they all looked at me like I had grown another head, and my son said, “Well that makes sense, Mom, since you like to unwind with trash reality TV (don’t you DARE judge my Bravo addiction), this is just trash reality TV that isn’t produced.” 

And I had to admit that he’s right. Every week, so many deeply unserious elected officials and members of the public come to these meetings, and now, we’re all in to see where their character arc ends up. I’m hopeful that in November, 2024, many of these characters will be written off their shows.

Where to even begin? I guess the beginning is as good as any. The meeting started in the usual fashion, and President Paperman and VP Fisher were there in-person while Board Members Carver, Ordway, and Simacek were calling in. Mr. Carver was traveling, Ms. Ordway is battling cancer and needs to avoid enclosed spaces, and Ms. Simacek has COVID. 

After a standard budget update, it was time for public comments, and I’m happy to report that the vast majority of speakers showed up to SUPPORT the adoption of the 6-8 grade curriculum that was NOT approved in a 3-2 vote at the last meeting. Teachers, grandparents, parents, and taxpayers came up to the lectern, one after another, to show their support for the curriculum and the process. It was glorious. 

Of course, Good Ol’ Jerry was back to complain about board members not showing up and joked about getting cardboard cutouts of absent board members. You know, the ones who have COVID and are being treated for cancer (What a knee-slapper, Jerry! So much compassion!). 

Who wants to bet that Jerry considers himself a “man of God?”

Jerry wanted to talk about the private consultant, and referred to VP Fisher’s tOtAlLy sCiEnTiFiC survey, talked about child molestation for some reason (these people are OBSESSED with children’s genitalia), and wished everyone a Merry Christmas.

Which was weird since I thought there was a war on Christmas. At least that’s what Fox News told me. 

The parents who attend weekly were both there to talk about the bullying of their children, and then we were on to a couple of standard second readings of updated policies. A little about this. Many boards in Arizona have a membership in the Arizona School Boards Association (ASBA). They provide legal help, monitor the legislature for policies that need to be updated, and offer trainings to school districts across the state, just to name a few. 

You may recall that a while back, Paradise Valley (PVUSD) voted on a resolution to call for the resignation of the former Executive Director who fudged his resume (he did, in fact, resign). That whole thing was not great for ASBA, but when you consider the extremist alternative, I’ll take ASBA every damn day. 

Next up (AGAIN) was the English Language Arts (ELA) curriculum adoption, and the administrator who presented went through the entire process for curriculum adoption (AGAIN), so I’ll give you the crib notes. The process started in February. The committee was formed with 85 stakeholders who were parents, teachers, taxpayers, administrators, etc. The public review period was 60 days, and the curriculum was approved with 91% approval.

She went on to point out how if this isn’t approved, the committee will essentially throw up their hands since this very reliable and rigorous process did exactly what it was supposed to do. They found a curriculum that aligns to the state standards, supports English Language Learners (ELLs) sufficiently, and is fiscally responsible.

You could hear the frustration in the administrator’s voice. She seems to have had it with all the shenanigans. 

Board Member Ordway was first up with questions, and throughout this meeting, she proved why we NEED experienced board members who are serious about governance and who support public schools. She always asks relevant questions that show she understands her role and the protocols of the district.

When districts have tested and reliable processes in place and provide opportunities for stakeholders to engage, board members SHOULD trust the process. Some of these evangelical extremists try to get big mad when folks say they need to “trust the process” but what they’re really mad about is that they can’t micromanage the district.

Ms. Simacek, an actual educator, echoed the sentiments of Ms. Ordway, and also mentioned how important it is to trust the process. Next up was Ms. Fisher, and she started off by talking about bullying. At this point, Ms. Ordway must not have muted her phone because she could be heard saying, “Jesus Christ, here we go” and I nearly died on the spot. She’s just saying what the rest of us were thinking. 

VP Fisher rattled off the numerous emails she received from stakeholders, and was super mad about how rude people were to her via email. Now, I will say that whenever one corresponds with any elected official, it is best to stick to the facts and keep emotion out of it. Keep it professional, and stick to the topic at hand.

BUT! The fact that VP Fisher is so upset by unkind words coming from her stakeholders is RICH, since all she does on her social media is attack anyone who doesn’t agree with her.

Oh, and she also just posted a video on her FB page that stated “antifa” was responsible for J6. Cool, cool. 

She yammered on and on, at one point saying no one ever presented about this ELA curriculum despite the fact that someone LITERALLY just presented (AGAIN) about this ELA curriculum. Then she talked about how much she loved math and hated ELA and how good teachers can perform miracles.

Then she said that reading and writing should happen without any emotions, and I’m just sitting here like, “have you EVER even READ the Color Purple?!” and then remembered who I was referring to, and I’m guessing she probably hasn’t. 

(Also, I TOTALLY know what movie I’m watching tonight).

Next she started talking about how she understands racial inequity…

…and how she was chased out of her school by her cousins for being “the wrong color Hispanic (!!)”.

Then she started talking about the Bureau of Land Management for some reason and at this point Ms. Simacek chimed in to say that VP Fisher was off-topic and that we don’t need to hear her life story. Of course, Ms. Fisher steamrolled over her comment, and essentially bashed teachers for wanting engaging curriculum while also ascertaining that the teachers of DVUSD didn’t need or want the curriculum. 

Finally, Ms. Simacek had it, and called out her misinformation. She stated that the teachers have told the board via email that they do in fact want this curriculum and that what Ms. Fisher was saying simply wasn’t true. At this point, the audience erupted in applause. 

Now, normally, I’m fascinated by VP Fisher’s level of narcissism, and she’s designed these trash reality TV shows DVUSD board meetings to feature her as the main character, but I’m going to go ahead and shift my focus to the comments made by President Paperman. 

First, President Paperman seems overwhelmed in her position. It almost makes me wonder if she’s scared of VP Fisher. Remember, Ms. Fisher has a history of unprofessional behavior with her colleagues and constituents over the years.

But one only has to look on her social media pages where she regularly accuses people in her universe (including Yours Truly) of things that are misleading and/or untrue. I’ve talked to MANY people in DVUSD who have told me that they’re afraid to speak out because they don’t want to be directly in Ms. Fisher’s warpath. Maybe President Paperman is concerned about the repercussions of disagreeing with her. 

Ms. Paperman also seems deeply misinformed about what her role is and what is best for schools. During her comments on the ELA adoption, she recommended the district just keep using the 10-year-old curriculum, buy replacement textbooks from other districts, and use the money the district saved for teachers’ bonuses. 

You know, President Paperman refers to her 20+ years in education in Arizona, and I find it alarming how little she seems to know how any of this works.

Board Member Simacek pointed out that districts pay for the licensing of curricula these days. And seasoned board member and relevant-question-asker, Ms. Ordway asked the administrator if there even ARE textbooks in this new adoption. There aren’t - it’s mostly electronic - but the license pays for the consumable materials. 

Another concern she said multiple parents cited was about the 2021 acquisition of McGraw Hill by a company called Platinum Equity.

Now let’s just sit here and think about why a bunch of evangelical extremists would be concerned about this acquisition that happened two years ago. Could it be the word “equity” in the name of the company? Secular Fam! These people sent angry emails because McGraw Hill was acquired by Platinum Equity, a global investment firm. And because they saw the word “equity,” they immediately assumed it was “woke” 

Worse, she shared this information at a public meeting! Board presidents need to be critical thinkers who support their district, stay informed about the issues facing their district, and work collaboratively to come up with policies and practices to address those issues.

In the several months that I’ve been watching these meetings, I’ve seen almost zero evidence of these behaviors from either President Paperman or VP Fisher. For her to blindly recite the conspiracies sent to her from tinfoil hat-wearing constituents is alarming.

Elections👏freaking👏 matter👏people👏!

Ms. Ordway rounded out her questions and comments by pointing out that NOBODY gets on these committees thinking, “hey let’s adopt this because it’ll be crappy for our students and…hard for the teachers…so my vote is going to be yes” and then she called for a vote. 

Seemingly taking her orders from Ms. Fisher, President Paperman went on to complain about the small number of people on the committee (85). But the administrator shared that the amount of interest from constituents to join this committee was unprecedented, and she hasn’t ever seen this type of engagement during her career. So it would seem that perhaps the two board members who speak in superlatives and absolutes about everything are angry that the committee WAS an actual reflection of what the community wants.

The ELA curriculum was adopted in a 3-2 vote with the third vote coming from Board Member Carver (see?? Emails and engagement with your local school boards work!).

In a normal time with a clear pro-public education board, this adoption would have happened two weeks ago, and would have probably taken 30 minutes MAXIMUM discussion. But when you have evangelical extremists on school boards, and one who seems to be a textbook narcissist, this district has clocked several HOURS on a routine vote. 

This is a waste of time, money, and resources. So whenever these people cry about districts wasting tax dollars, remind them of this meeting and the countless others that happen across our state and country every damn day. And really, I’m hoping that 2024 is the year this shit stops. 

There was another vote about staff travel, another routine vote about addenda pre-approvals (of course, Ms. Fisher voted no again), and even more discussion about the private consultant that I referred to here a couple of weeks ago.

Then finally. FINALLY, we were at Superintendent and Board Reports. 

Most of the reports were short and sweet, and Ms. Ordway took the time to address some comments made both online and in the meeting about her absence at meetings lately. Full disclosure, during my time on my local school board from 2012-2020, I crossed paths with Ms. Ordway and many of the other folks I write about in these meetings. 

I don’t know much about Ms. Ordway except for what I’ve observed over the last ten years. 

First, she’s in it for the kids. Second, she has a great attendance record. Third, when it comes to her politics, I’d call her “moderate” and from her social media page, I’d guess she’s a real Christian (NOT a Christian nationalist - which is a political ideology). She went on to wish everyone a safe and healthy holiday season, and once again expressed her desire for the board to work collaboratively in 2024. 

So what happened next shocked me. 

Ms. Fisher started her diatribe by disparaging ASBA and then expressed her dismay at the board being divided. She said it’s “sad to sit and watch when a board member doesn’t even know what to do because they don’t have any guidance and they don’t speak up.” She lamented over the fact that her board can’t work together and referred to DVUSD board behavior as “deplorable”...

…and I found myself again wondering if she even owns a mirror. 

She went on to complain about Dr. Finch and spoke wistfully about all the people she saw at the ASBA conference who have great relationships with their superintendents, and I wondered if she knows what kind of reputation she has within the school board community. Spoiler alert: it’s not good. 

She went on to congratulate Congressman Greg Stanton (??) for winning the Superintendent of the Year award from an organization she doesn’t even like, so that was weird. Because of VP Fisher, the board of DVUSD implemented a time limit a while back, so board members are limited to five minutes.

The timer went off and because President Paperman doesn’t gavel or talk over VP Fisher like she does with everyone else, Ms. Fisher just kept rambling on about bullying, teachers, and then began disparaging Ms. Ordway and the rest of the board. 

Finally (!!!!), Ms. Ordway interjected and said, “Uh, are we allowed to go on for, like, ten minutes?” and pointed out how rude it is to just ignore the time limits, to which VP Fisher said, “What is rude is you not coming to meetings when you can go to a concert…and nobody’s illness is an excuse for bad behavior.” 

Did you hear that folks? 

She said that to a cancer patient who is currently receiving chemotherapy treatment. A sitting board member in the state of Arizona berated a colleague who has been absent from meetings because she’s receiving cancer treatment.

Vile doesn’t even begin to describe her behavior. 

If you’d like to watch this exchange, you can do so here (you may want to grab an adult beverage).

There you have it, Secular Fam. The good news here? I’m pretty sure that when this board elects a new president and VP next month, it will NOT be either Paperman or Fisher, so there’s that. But in the meantime, according to the Maricopa County School Superintendent website, only one person has filed to run. He looks…erm…interesting. 

So you know the drill. Also, y’all got a bonus Substack this week, so if you haven’t done so, please upgrade!

We currently have 108 paid subscribes, but nearly 7600 total subscribers. I’d love to hit 150 paid subscribers by the end of 2023, so to quote Mariah Carey, “All I want for Christmas is you [to pay for your subscription and help me hit my 2023 goal 🎶”].

Merry, Happy, Seasons Greetings, Secular Fam!